I genuinely try to keep the day-to-day of my professional life off of this blog. I might mention my students, coworkers, boss, or an event from time to time, but I really want to keep the two worlds separate.
Unfortunately, sometimes they collide. Sometimes I just cannot shake all that happens throughout the day and it bleeds into my personal life. This week was one of those weeks. This week, a coworker told me that I “looked like an extra on The Walking Dead.” And he was right…
- Student 1 refused to remove her headphones (a school rule). She is an excellent student, and never defiant, so my Principal asked me to investigate. After hours and hours of tears, Student 1 confessed that she gets incredibly depressed without explanation from time to time. No, she’s never shared this information with her mom. No, she’s never spoken to a counselor. No, she cannot think of any triggers for this depression. She only knows that it is absolutely debilitating, that she doesn’t want to live anymore, and that she cannot stop crying. Spent the rest of the day dealing with the crisis team.
- I taught Student 2 as a freshmen and again as a junior, and I know when something is off. Student 2’s mom somehow talked her current boyfriend into breaking up with her. She’s a sad, crying mess in desperate need of ice cream and a hug.
- Student 3 and Student 4 separately had guns pulled on them after school (by the same person) on Tuesday afternoon.
- Student 5 came into school on Wednesday and was so angry and upset that he needed to be calmed by my Principal before even entering the building. He knew the people who threatened the other students. He is now scared for his life.
- Student 6 lost his best friend. The friend was in a coma for the past month, and passed away this week.
- Student 7 totally broke down to me on Wednesday afternoon. Watching my kids cry is one of the hardest things in the entire world. He has so much going on. And I didn’t know. And I should know. And I should be checking in more.
- Student 8. I could write a book on Student 8. But, to keep it short, Student 8 has been drug-free for 1 year and 2 weeks. And yet on Wednesday I had to chase after her upon leaving the building, walk her back in the building, and attach her and her best friend to me for the rest of the day to prevent her from going to get high. Two of her other friends met us back at the school, where the crew helped me execute an eighth grade parent event until 8pm. I then took her to dinner with Zack and I before dropping her off at her house at 9:15pm.
- Student 9’s cousin was shot and killed this week. Everything was aggravating her. Everything. She called sobbing again at 7:02am on Friday morning, terrified that she was going to be late to school and miss an important assignment in her first period class because her ride to school fell through.
- Student 10 had to deal with the breakup of his first “real relationship.” He didn’t do anything wrong. There was no fight. Just a broken heart. Cue several “Yox hugs” and more ice cream.
- Student 11 stopped showing up to school. Just stopped. I showed up at his place of employment yesterday, where he was over 30 minutes late. All I could leave was a note and my phone number.
Plus at least 100 more moments of stress and sadness that either didn’t even register, or I didn’t have to witness, or no one even noticed.
I wanted to share this post today because I could not seem to let it go this week. I carried the stress of my students through my days. I didn’t run. I didn’t yoga. I didn’t lift. I cried.
If one probable cause for the candida overgrowth I’m treating is too much stress, how will it ever go away? I know I need to run. I know I need to yoga. I know I need to lift. And yet, I couldn’t even lace up my sneakers. Or roll out my mat. Or go to the gym. This week was too difficult. Just too much.
Usually I wrap up kind of crappy feeling posts with a plan: “Next week I’m going to have a plan so I run and manage my stress.” But I’m not quite there yet. Instead, I’m focusing on letting this week go. Hopefully, next week will be better.
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